Monday, December 6, 2010

Notes and Poems and Rants: Old Blog

I wish i remember who this was about now. (ed. 6/12/2010)

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Haven't found the time or topic to. I've been having dreams about her again. It's weird to do so at this time, with everything that's been going on. But I'm always happy in those dreams, and so is she. It's good to see her happy. It's always pretty intimate, but in a sweet way, never in a "rough'n'fuck" way. In my Judaism and the Occult classes we're learning about Talmudic dream interpretation. One of them is, "If you are fornicating with a woman, whom you in turn love, then it is a good omen." In this case, I would say that 'love' could be quantifiably rendered into the friendship area, especially as the dream interpretation texts were written so long ago, and so archaically. And I could sure as hell use the good omen, especially after all the bad omen teeth falling out dreams I've had this year.

I hate the people I dream of

i hate the people i dream
it spins me round like food
for thought
time for your dime
hitched in vegas and up and

"does this all look familiar
to you?"

i guess it must but it doesn'
wish that it would look like yesterday'
s today'
s tomorrow
but it always looks like last year'
s next week in a way that
fakes the times we always

t it always seem like that to
it could just be me but
think so for once.

The Cast of Dreams

It is sometimes odd who it is who appears in your dreams. More often than not they're friends of yours, whether or not you've spoken to them or thought of them lately or not. Sometimes they're people you know in the dream, but when you wake up you realize you don't recognize them as a real life person at all. Sometimes they're people from TV shows - for example, I've been watching a lot of Scrubs lately (the whole series) and so the cast of Scrubs are commonplace people in my dreams - and we're often on adventures or running from things. Last night it was the Janitor and someone else...I don't remember. The night before it was Cox and the whole gang. Weird, but fun. But what is weirdest is when you have a sex dream about someone you know. This is weirdest when you haven't thought of, spoken to or dreamed of that person in forever. But it's still weird when it's someone you've spoken to lately, when you haven't had a dream about them - especially a sex dream about them - in a long time or ever. This happened to me last night, about a close friend, and it feels weird. And it doesn't necessarily mean I want to jump that person next time I see them, but I have been thinking a lot about relationships (again, thanks to Scrubs) and I wonder. I miss being in a relationship and I wonder what it would be like with certain people. I don't know. Sometimes the mind just messes with you for shits and giggles.

And a tear is shed as the world ends around us, but we still laugh...

Okay, all started on my birthday.
We had a party, there was yelling, a table was broken, there was beer, there was a band, the neighbours complained. The downstairs one, no one else. The complaint was only of the slamming balcony door and "the loudest chair on earth, it's constant". Okay. We then heard that we had an imaginary party on Sunday when no one was home and it had "10 men and lots of beer". This is just blatantly false. We then inadvertantly had a party a week on the heels of the last. Ashlee invited people - lots - to our house. We didn't make noise, but there was a complaint. No reason is mentioned, "the people under you are two brothers who work!" So then there are no disturbances. The Aussies (Max and Joel) are staying over. Everything is fine. Last night, their last night, we get home from a party in town. We've had a couple of beers, but are not drunk. I go to get ready for bed and Max begins making a frozen pizza in the oven. I brush my teeth, change, get ready to get into bed while Max is doing this. Max begins watching something on his laptop while his food cooks. All of a sudden he smells smoke and gets up to check the food. Smoke is rising from the oven out through the stove top coils. He turns off the oven and opens it. Smoke billows out. The fire alarm is tripped. The apartment one, and then the whole building one. The building is evacuated. Five firetrucks show up. Firemen come up to see us. They see it's a false alarm and are not mad. The alarm continues until the smoke clears. We have a laugh about the ridiculousness of the situation. This morning, a call is had from Matt's mum. The landlady has called her, with slanderous and false claims. We are now being threatened with eviction because, "we have been harbouring 10 people in our apartment constantly. We have lots of loud parties. We get drunk and pass out on drugs and let the pizza burn, causing a fire and evacuation". Ben and Matt are in the shit and I'm leaving soon. This sucks.

Rhyming Exercise

down in the sewer
i could swear that you were
around and around on a skewer
with fewer and fewer do-gooder evil-doers.

it's plain and simple
pop the pimple
move to the avenue Darlrymple
spit out those smiling dimples
can't you see the ice trample frimple?

exercise, sterilize, cauterize,
sacrifice, artifice, simplify,
words like birds
flock in and mock
me like some downed ceder tree
get out get out
flee flee
you turn me about
so that i can't see.


So many perspectives now, like kaleidoscope coloured glass - turning me about in rainbowelectricalstorms. Yes she is, no she isn't (worth it?), she's done this before, she's amazing - it's a tough situation. Gimme a cigarette.
Soft kisses, hidden cuddles, lustful uncertainty.

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