Michael and I create a reality/sci-fi script over chat:
Michael: "Nick and Louise feel their marriage is deteriorating further. Blah blah blah" Close up on worried faces
me: exactly
[insert incoherent dialogue from boring people]
Michael: "He just doesn't LISTEN to me!"
"No one listens to you, honey. You're like wet carpet."
me: "you ALWAYS say that!"
me: "i know, it's because you're awful"
[aside to camera]
"i fucking hate my life"
Michael: NICK ADVANCES TO THE $20,000 ROUND!!!
MEANWHILE:
Int: Director's office
Lots of flashing lights on a board light up
a TECHNICAL GUY turns around from a board
"We're experiencing record numbers of people disconnecting, Master!"
DIRECTOR: Hrm. Cut all power from the forward shields! Divert it in to the grav stabilisers!
STRAIGHT FOIL TO DIRECTOR GUY: I hate my life.
DIRECTOR: Hack the internet! It's a firesale, everything must go!
HITLER: Mein gott, vhat am I doink here?
me: Int. Mon Cal starship
ACKBAR: Their shields are down, concentrate all fire on the super star destroyer...I mean...director's office
Michael: HITLER: Seriously, zis is a travesty. You people are horrible.
HITLER vomits on DIRECTOR.
me: JEWISH COMEDIAN: And coming from him, that takes a lotta chutspah out of your gumption!
Michael: The SCENE COLLAPSES under BOMBARDMENT from the Mon Cal frigate and TIRED IDEAS.
JEWISH COMEDIAN: Oy!
HITLER: BLEEEUUUURGH
DIRECTOR: Cut the life support! Strangle and choke!
me: ACKBAR: Now who's the trap, bitches!
Michael: COMIC FOIL: I'm already dead.
ACKBAR: Oh hey baby . Sure I'll go on an awesome space-date with you.
THEY DO.
Meanwhile the scene SPIRALS IN TO A PLUGHOLE
Michael: "Nick and Louise feel their marriage is deteriorating further. Blah blah blah" Close up on worried faces
me: exactly
[insert incoherent dialogue from boring people]
Michael: "He just doesn't LISTEN to me!"
"No one listens to you, honey. You're like wet carpet."
me: "you ALWAYS say that!"
me: "i know, it's because you're awful"
[aside to camera]
"i fucking hate my life"
Michael: NICK ADVANCES TO THE $20,000 ROUND!!!
MEANWHILE:
Int: Director's office
Lots of flashing lights on a board light up
a TECHNICAL GUY turns around from a board
"We're experiencing record numbers of people disconnecting, Master!"
DIRECTOR: Hrm. Cut all power from the forward shields! Divert it in to the grav stabilisers!
STRAIGHT FOIL TO DIRECTOR GUY: I hate my life.
DIRECTOR: Hack the internet! It's a firesale, everything must go!
HITLER: Mein gott, vhat am I doink here?
me: Int. Mon Cal starship
ACKBAR: Their shields are down, concentrate all fire on the super star destroyer...I mean...director's office
Michael: HITLER: Seriously, zis is a travesty. You people are horrible.
HITLER vomits on DIRECTOR.
me: JEWISH COMEDIAN: And coming from him, that takes a lotta chutspah out of your gumption!
Michael: The SCENE COLLAPSES under BOMBARDMENT from the Mon Cal frigate and TIRED IDEAS.
JEWISH COMEDIAN: Oy!
HITLER: BLEEEUUUURGH
DIRECTOR: Cut the life support! Strangle and choke!
me: ACKBAR: Now who's the trap, bitches!
Michael: COMIC FOIL: I'm already dead.
ACKBAR: Oh hey baby . Sure I'll go on an awesome space-date with you.
THEY DO.
Meanwhile the scene SPIRALS IN TO A PLUGHOLE
me: man, i think we just made the best inernet-fan-movie-thing-of-
are you thinking what i'm thinking? SHORT FILM
Michael: it's already been shot, produced, and misunderstood by mainstream media
me: damn right
but now we have to make the REMAKE
Michael: dibs on director
I wanna cut my own life support
me: or better yet..some kind of...prequel/sequel...pre-
Michael: you have to do Ackbar all in french though
french ackbar
me: done
Michael: french is romantic so I'm told
me: "C'est un..TRAP!"
Michael: Trappe
me: bam.
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