A Dream That Scared Me It was drawn like a children's picture book, and everyone spoke in voices like it was one. The drawings were crude, 2D and kind of sketchy. I don't remember the start, but I knew that an Elephant had to run away from a group of 3 other animals - a lion, a tiger and a giraffe - who always travelled in a tight-knit pack, and moved like a single piece of cardboard together as one. The elephant didn't know how to run, it kept falling over, but at some point, somehow, it managed to escape to a nearby safe area, shielded by a hill. This elephant had a human wife and a cat. The cat had a metal plate screwed to its face on the right side, covering half its head.
"We're safe now," they said, "we don't have to run anymore."
But then the 3-animal-group came over the hill, moving very quickly - gliding over the ground. In that moment, the elephant learned to run and ran away down the path as quickly as he could go. But he left his wife and the cat. The animals made it to them and loomed over them, the angry face of the lion looking down on them.
"Cough." Said the cat.
"Cough." Repeated the woman.
And the lion coughed.
"Cough." Said the cat.
"Cough." Repeated the woman again.
And the lion coughed again.
"Cough once more." Said the cat.
"Cough again, just once more." Said the woman.
"Why?" Asked the lion.
"Just because. You're a silly kitty, aren't you?" The camera stays on the woman as the cat comes out from behind her back and walks past and off screen saying, "If they like you, then they're gonna love me." And the camera stays on the woman's face as you hear a loud WHACK! and a splatter of blood and screws spashes next to the woman's head. The cat jumps onto her lap and the camera looks down on it - it is drawn like a crude cartoon and its metal plate is gone, and there is a nail where its eye should be, surrounded by blood which looks like watercolour paint, "What happened?" it cried.
"Shh, shh, it's okay," said the woman, beginning to cry, "I don't want you to be a cat anymore, I want you to be a parade."
"A parade? But where will we get the bones from!?" the cat cried. As the shadows of the animals loomed over them, the camera pans upwards to reveal a giant, flying, golden pirate ship - drawn like a child's picture book - with all of these bones hanging off of it in strings.
"Oh! From there!" Said the cat, "We'll be okay!" and it continued to talk and talk and talk about nothing.
"Ow, my feet." Said the woman, quietly.
"Ow, my legs." Said the woman, still quietly.
Then the woman began to scream screams that were bloodcurdling, "AHH! MY KNEES! MY KNEES!! AHH!! MY KNEES!" As the animals began to tear her apart, and the cat talked about nothing, and the camera panned upwards into the dark, cloudy sky.
And then I woke up.
My Dreams Are Trying to Kill Me This is actually the dream I had from last night:
I am packing my bags - I seem late for something, I'm going somewhere. I look in the mirror and I am wearing my John Lennon sunglasses, a gray floppy fedora, a white shirt, a gray vest, black pants and black dress shoes. I run off down the road with my bags - I have this nervous feeling that if I am late something AWFUL will happen. I arrive at the wooden bridge leading to the wooden entranceway to where I'm going. This is a concentration camp. I remember thinking "I knew I shouldn't have come to Berlin on this trip". As we enter some people are being gathered to the side in a small, boxed off area. These people are to burned alive in front of us. I am walking through the entrance to the camp and Hitler taps my shoulder and says, "No, you're not going through." and pushes me towards the boxed off area. I beg him, "No, please, don't kill me." He says "okay" and picks up a handful of ashes of previously burned people and puts them in my hand - marking me. I smear them across my forehead with my thumb and walk into the camp. Once down there I look up to see Tom HB sitting in the boxed off area, crying. I cry out to him and he just reads a poem back to me. I turn away and go inside. Once inside, I start doing my Yiddish homework. Hitler - who has now become a very attractive woman wearing a black dress - yells at me that I have soiled the camp by bringning Yiddish into it. She writes me a note and says we have to pick up some bags from the entrance. I look at the note and they are numbers for the bags we must get - and it is written in beautiful Yiddish script - the numbers were 1100 and 29, spelled out in the Yiddish alphabet. She says "Stupid writing" and I say "it's nice". So we are walking along towards the entrance again to get the bags and once we have them we turn around, Hitler (woman) and I and see our companion has run off somewhere. We hear gunshots in the distance. We assume he tried to escape and has been killed, "Shame" she says. All of a sudden our friend shows up again saying he got lost - I think he was Lampwick from school. So, walking back inside with the bags down all these staircases, I am talking to Hitler (woman) and she is a really nice person...except for the evil. We reminisce about how she had previously visited my high school, segregating IT like a concentration camp for her visit - this is a vivid memory in the dream. All of a sudden her and I are alone in a small room's kitchenette and she pushes me up against the stove and we start kissing. Passionately. Then I open my eyes and she opens hers, looks at me disgustedly - because I'm Jewish - shudders, pulls away and says, "I can't do this to myself" because she is sullying herself. I say "Yeah, pretty hard to make out with someone who tried to exterminate your entire people" and she smiles. Then she says, "you better get rid of your gun". I look down and - to my surprise - is a gun in the belt of my pants. I remove it and Hitler has already removed the clip so the gun is useless. I cannot shoot her. Suddenly her, Millie, Chris L and I are in a black van with all of our bags and this large group of men are trying to carjack us and steal our things. They are trying to distract us by saying they are playing a joke on friends of theirs and they need us to pretend to be dead and hand us little packets of tomato sauce. We are all into the joke until I see what is going on and lean out the window and yell, "give us our bags back, please!" and they laugh. I say, "look who's in the car with us" and I show them Hitler (woman) and they freak out and give us our things back and ask us not to kill them.
I am awakened by a loud car horn. I am hot and I cannot move. When I can I run to the desk and write this down. Fuck my dreams.
