Thursday, June 7, 2012

A Hairy Situation

I know this is TMI, but I don't care. Also, I don't know why I'm telling you this.

So, I have long, curly blonde hair. The one thing about hair like this is that, a) it's beautiful and b) it gets everything. And it's damn noticeable when it does. You can always tell when a fallen hair is mine.

Now, because I have the ability to groom myself, most of the hair comes out in the shower when I brush it. During the day whatever does fall out gets stuck in the curls and no problem, comes out the next day. But every now and then, some escapes these fates and falls onto things. Namely, one of those things is my desk chair at work.

I work sitting on one of those average, black, fabric office roller-chairs. The back of my roller chair looks like I sewed some grain in there and started growing hair just in case I went bald at any time. What I'm saying is there's a lot of hair on there - because I'm the only one that uses the chair.

I've been reading a lot of Harry Dresden novels lately (written by Jim Butcher) and if you haven't read them you should. This got me thinking about the hair on my chair. The reason is, if anyone gets your hair (or blood or blood or etc.) they can perform magic on you and there's very little you can do about it.

Looking at my chair, anyone could just take some and I could be dead with an exploded large intestine tomorrow because I was careless (and kind of gross). So, I thought, Dresden would never leave hair on his chair - and neither should I!

So I began cleaning.

And, Oh. My Lord.

The amount of hair I pulled off of there was astonishing. Like a handful. A clump. I can only describe it as a "in his dying throes he managed to get a grip and tear out a chunk of his murderer's hair but because he was interrupted the killer didn't have time to pick it up before running away" amount of hair. Detectives would look at the clump of hair in the vice-like grip of my rigor-mortised hand and say, before putting on their sunglasses, "Looks like our killer got into," sunglasses, "a hairy situation".



P.S. I'm sorry.

1 comment:

  1. The other terrifying place it builds up is in the castor wheels of chairs. My old chair got to the point where the wheels wouldn't spin.